Friday, November 5, 2010

Ladies' Undergarments, Mine Specifically

Maybe it's a bad idea to write about underwear in an otherwise unsexy blog.  Not that I intend to be sexy at all.  It's just that I think I'll be cursed with pornbot spam now just for using the word "underwear."

Here goes though:  it would seem that Victoria's Secret has cornered the market on women's cotton underwear.

I prefer to wear cotton for air-flow purposes.  It just keeps everything in better condition.  Back when Filene's was still in business they used to carry a really cute women's underwear line called St. Eve.  Number one, they were cotton, number two, they had great colors and prints (yes, I like colors and prints on my underwear) number three, they were cut well and number one-half, they were comfortable (good sized leg holes and not instant-wedgie-machines)

It must have been about eleven years ago when I went on my last underwear buying binge.  I remember because I remember being at the dog park with my friend Jean and telling her about the great underwear I'd bought at Filene's.  There was some deal like three pairs for nine bucks or something.  They were all so cute I stocked up.

It's so exciting when you find great underwear that sometimes you just have to share.  Like now.

Anyway, the elastic on my eleven year old underwear has ceased to function.  At the end of the day I keep finding my underpants down around my ankles and I have to throw them out.  Goodbye pink leopard print pair!  Farewell cute one's with the beach picnic patterns like a smiling crab!  Adieu white pair with the appliquéd flower and bee!  Sniff!

All my go-to underwear in the wastebasket and me left with the scratchy nylon lace ones that are sexy looking, sure, but you can't wear them every day.

So I've been checking out all the places where I thought I'd find cute cotton underwear.  Costco has cotton but they're the giant old lady kind.  I'd rather not wear underwear than wear a dumpy pair that shows over the top of my pants.  The department stores had masses and masses of cute (ish) cheap-o nylon junk - the kind that catches on the dry skin on your hands when you touch them.

I even went to Bloomingdale's.  Our Bloomingdale's is all hoity-toity and expensive and the saleswomen have terrible attitudes and yet they never have anything I'd remotely want to own.  I go there maybe once a year to see if they still suck.  I went there as a last resort.  It too was a sea of nylon.  They did have cotton underwear but the cheapest was Hanro at $35 a pair!  NO FRIGGING WAY!

Thank heaven I remembered that there's a Victoria's Secret in that mall.  They had a huge table loaded with cute cotton underwear.  Something like six different non-thong styles (thong=instant-wedgie-machine for me. If thongs work for you they had cotton thongs too.) and dozens of colors and prints including glitter patterns, five pairs for $25.  Thank you.  I just looked at a few labels and some of them are made with 20% organic fibers from Burkina Faso.

Needless to say I stocked up.  Eleven years from now I will undoubtedly be facing the same problem again.  Maybe by then there will be an even better underwear.


Jenn said...

I love VS underwear. Especially the boy short style. Did you get any of those? They're the best.

Melissa said...

Yes, I did. I got everything but high-leg briefs and thongs. Oh, and no "cheeky" ones - they look like instant-wedgie-machines.