I Look Dumb

I'm not a great sports dresser. Probably because I'm physically incompetent and I don't think I should look too flashy when I'm doing something athletic. It could set up false expectations. Also, I have no class. I couldn't resist these ridiculous pink tights. Oh well, I am what I am. And to be honest I like it that way. 

I guess the tights are flashy. 

A Lovely November Day

I went out seeking adventure today. Not shopping, just adventure. It was a beautiful, warm autumn day. Some things I saw/did:

A frightening number of porta-potties in Davis Square. What does this mean? They reeked of cherry lollipop. You could smell them down the block. Whatever they're there for clearly hasn't happened yet. A horde impends.

I tried on cool shoes at Fluevog's on Newbury Street. The "Fluevologist," Peter, who was helping/enabling me thought these would go well with my tights. As you can see, he was right. I didn't buy them though. Yet.

You don't see abandoned sake bottles on the street every day around here. Exotic!

Inspi-stinkin-ration

I hate inspirational posters that boss me the hell around. Do this, do that... "Enjoy life to the fullest!" "Believe in your dreams!" "Breathe!" "Say yes to love!" (oh, wait...) So annoying.

But this one is good:

It's the Holstee manifesto and you can get a copy for yourself here.

Okay, at times it's a little much for me. I get overwhelmed by all that advice. I'm never going to just walk up to someone and demand to know their passion. Also, the "All emotions are beautiful" lettering should be bigger for more impact. Most people don't understand that all emotions are beautiful - or why. 

Whatever my quibbles may be, this poster makes a lot of good points. But I'm on a love jag right now so I'm just going to focus on that part.

It took me forever to realize that "do what you love" really means do everything you love as much as you can. It's a good idea to fill as many moments as possible with as much of the stuff you love as possible.

Eat the food you love, wear the shoes you love, be with the people you love, surround yourself with the colors you love, listen to the music you love, go to the places you love, do the things you love to do no matter what their value seems to be. Don't be ashamed if the things you love seem stupid. You love them. If they bring you joy then that's enough and screw what anybody else thinks. 

It seems to me that this is how you build a life that has value for you. So that's what I'm going to do. 

Yeah, There Are Cuss Words In Here

Photo by Pete

Good morning everyone!

Isn't life confusing? So much to do, so much to think about. So much shit raining down on you, so many beautiful experiences to have at the same time. I pity the three pounds of mush that has to try to sort through it all for each one of us. What an experience!

Then there's all the stuff we don't take in because we aren't physically capable of it. Puny human mind boggling.

How am I supposed to pick a topic to blog about with all of these amazing, confusing things going on? The answer is, "Just fucking pick something."

Have I changed at all since June? Can you tell? Eh, whatevs. According to my meditation books (and a whole lot of science books) we're all changing all the time. Any perception of personal consistency we have is an illusion created by our brain. Brains are so cool. They make order for us where there is none. I wonder why we need it (order) so much?

So here's my topic for today: aging, mine specifically. I need to come to terms with it.

Yesterday I read that most cells in your body have short life spans. They die and are replenished regularly. Neurons are different. The neurons in your brain are the same ones you were born with. This is why I can be forty-six years old and still think I'm twenty-three or feel (or act) like an eight-year-old.

When I'm walking around doing stuff I have no idea how old I am and I don't care. That's as it should be. It doesn't matter. So it shouldn't bother me that I don't look like I think I do. Right? It doesn't really matter.

I was not careful to take good photos of my costume last night. Pete took a few though.

This is the best one of my costume but I don't like it because I look wider than I'd like to and because you can clearly see my saggy old lady neck. Gah! I would like to think that my neck doesn't look like that all the time. I can't see it so what do I know? 

But it doesn't fucking matter, does it? Why spend a moment's  energy on it? 

Moving on, that was a pretty good costume. I don't think the hair is quite right for the character but it'll do for Halloween.

This photo is more like what I was going for:

Of course that's blurry so I can believe what I want to about my neck. You can't see the leggings or the shoes though. The woman behind me in the picture had been in front of me earlier. She had the worst posture. Her head was disappearing into her shoulders. It gave me a backache to look at her.

So where was I going? Something like I need to get over any feelings of concern about my aging appearance. There's nothing I can do to change it. There are far more important (and interesting) things I could be spending my time doing. Although coming to terms with and accepting reality is a valuable pursuit. One more miracle of life to encounter and appreciate. A gift of impermanence: another challenge to tackle and subdue. 

By the way, I'm wearing a mini hat:

A Little On The Random Side

My friend Jenn kicks ass. She sent me an awesome tote bag with this image on it. Thanks Jenn!

I felt very proud of myself yesterday. It was my last day of a short course of antibiotics and the day I figured out that certain of the possible side effects were affecting me: I was depressed, disoriented and drowsy. Despite this (sorry about the alliteration) I was very productive. For example I set up this automatic container watering system for when I can't be home to water the plants:

I also did a lot of other dumb junk that's too boring to mention here. The end result was that when bed time rolled around I was pretty satisfied with myself. I re-read a little "Mindfulness in Plain English" and hit the hay.

At three AM Pete woke me up saying, "I think Fay's out in the hallway." He turned on the light and Fay was, in fact, in her bed. "Something's in the house," he said. We got up to investigate. Have you ever seen a flying squirrel? They're really cute. About the size of a chipmunk only grayer and they have the most adorable big eyes. This one was sitting on the windowsill in the upstairs room Pete uses for his office. It looked calmly at us when we turned on the lights. 

I eased over to the next window, opened it and removed the screen. We probably should have watched what happened next but we didn't. We just shut the door and checked back in five minutes. We think it left. We hope it left. We hope it doesn't come back with other family members.

Here's a photo of another peony in my garden. I love the intense color. I read the plant label yesterday. It's named after some lady but I don't remember who. (Note that there's a decorative "head" in the background of the photo)

Not to be confused with Paula Fay. Picture a bumble bee in there. Nice, huh?

 

Finally, I like these shoes:

They're Doc Martens.

Sigh

Here is an amazing pair of shoes that I will not be buying for myself:

They are from Modcloth, Jeffrey Campbell. They are so cool! But no. Can't have everything.

And, while we're at it, how about these from John Fluevog?

So beautiful.  Oh well...  Lots of new stuff on the Fluevog page. Irregular Choice is at it again too:

Little bears stuck to 'em.  As usual, many other mad and delightful styles popping up on the Irregular Choice page. I'm watching this pair to see if they come out in another color.

Homicide

I know you're sick of hearing about it but I think Irregular Choice is trying to kill me.  Yes, they are still adding new styles and colors every couple of days.  Here's the most recent pair to catch my eye.

How am I supposed to resist this onslaught?

The pair below is not for everyone (including me, as much as I love bats)  They have the amazing Shirley Temple heel and leathery bats on the front.  They also come in black.

My beloved friend Michaela (also here) was AWESOME enough to say to me last night that these shoes (any of them - she didn't mean a specific pair) are not that expensive and that it's probably worth it to buy some (plural!) - even if they aren't in my size - just to make art with them.  Spoken like a true friend, artist and understanding shoe fiend.

Of course I completely agree.  So many of these fit in uncannily with the novel I wrote and the comic book/multi-media project I've been working on.  I'd almost be an idiot not to stock up.  By God these things look like my art work.  The only trouble is that there are SO MANY I love so which do I choose?  I can't have them all.

In bacon news, I postponed making the cookies until tomorrow.  I spent today crocheting large flowers for another piece I'm working on instead.

So much to make!  So much to make!!!!

Big Plans For Today (Plus Shoes)

It's supposed to dump two feet of snow on us today so I plan to shovel, keep the fire going in the fireplace and knit.  These are all things I can do with or without power.  I'm hoping to do them with power.

Now for the shoes.  Irregular Choice keeps adding new ones.  I don't know how long they can keep it up.  I mean, how many out of control shoes can a company sell at one time? I know I've posted a lot of shoe photos here but I still have not posted all the styles and colors they have.  These are from the U.S. site:

Hi plow guy!  Thank you!!!

English Shoes

Okay, this is it for shoes this week.  Below are the amazing constructions you can get on the Irregular Choice website if you live in the U.K.  You might be able to get a few of these styles on certain Stateside websites too if you're lucky.

This isn't everything they have that we don't, just a selection.

 You can get the pair below on endless.com

 The boots below are also available on endless

Are those sneakers out of control or what?