Andouille Sausage, Bean and Kale Soup

Today looks like this:

So I'm glad I have this for lunch:

Andouille sausage, kale and bean soup that I made yesterday before breakfast. I had already soaked and cooked the dried beans a couple of days ago. I'd saved a good amount of the bean cooking liquid too so all of that was ready to go in the morning.

I just cut up the sausage and cooked it with olive oil in the pot (andouille isn't very greasy so I added extra oil) while that got started I chopped up some carrots, celery, onion and some boiled potatoes I had lying around and put them in the pot too.

When they were soft I added the beans and their liquid, some extra water and a few teaspoons of chicken "Better Than Bouillion." I let it all cook for a bit - 20 or 30 minutes. I wasn't paying attention. I decided it was cooked enough, turned the heat off and stirred in the prepped kale. Easy peasy.

When you make sausage soup the sausage does all the work. Get good sausage. Some barley, rice or other grain would probably be good in there too.

I'm Gonna Be Late For Work. Sorry Bob.

What's going to happen today?

It's supposed to be very windy out today. I LOVE wind.

It's also November first, the first day of NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo, neither of which I have signed up for. Words! Glorious, luxurious words! I want to cocoon myself in words, sweep them around me like a cape on this blustery day! I want to dive in and swim in a warm sea of words! Everything sounds like a stinkin' overwrought cliche though. Oh well.

So I'll move on to pictures.

All that's left of Mr. Loaf: the scalp. I'll have that for lunch at work today. With a salad, of course.

Halloween party pictures of people you don't know:

Steffi and Yukari being photobombed by Selena and Nate

Vampire Melvis

Random Yukari, Quinner and George

Jill, Jim and Jamie with a sneak Quinner in the background

Standard Halloween party photo

Hijinks with Steffi and Angela

Insufferable Preppy Bastard and crew

Jeff and Melvis being photobombed by vampire Nate

John, Linda and Alma

Aftermathish

The party went pretty well. The Red Sox won the World Series. The meatloaf was tasty, as were the pickled beets. No one had a martini but me though.

Party tip: Cheetos really brighten up a dreary bread plate.

I think I'll wear a dress today (with tights) so it can blow around in the wind.

It Has Been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG Time

I am in a really great mood today and it has been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time since that's been the case. Long time.

I think it might be the weather. It was forty-five degrees in Cambridge yesterday morning and forty-five again this morning in Vermont. I, myself, am absolutely shocked by the improvement this makes in my mood.

I know I hate summer. I've never liked it, now I hate it. I know this. I just didn't realize how demoralizing it is to me. Joie de vivre completely eludes me in the summer. Without my being aware of it, day to day life becomes about endurance.

That sounds so dramatic. It doesn't feel dramatic when I live it, it just feels like ordinary life. Until it stops and I feel like a bird released from underneath a black plastic tarp. Glory! The sky! The air! I can soar again!

How often do you go through your day wondering "why am I like this?" I do it all the time. (Not just about summer.)

I am very excited about today. I'm going to do laundry and make stuff in my studio. Then I might garden and I might dye my hair. No doubt I will wash the kitchen sink. Maybe later I'll drink some blackberry moonshine and have a fire in the fire pit. These are not exciting things and yet I am so excited.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Rumbling

 I had a very helpful dream just before I woke up.

I was trying to catch a train. I was about to get on one of the cars when this dumbass dude tried to hijack the train with me as his number one hostage.

He came up with a gun and was giving me ultimatums. "You can either come with me now and blah blah blah or you can..."

I wasn't listening to him. I was looking at his posture and his gun and thinking, "I can take this guy."

I grabbed his gun and got it away from him. Everyone on the train platform was staring at us. I yelled, "hey, can somebody tackle this guy please?"

Nobody moved. I thought, "honest to God, what is wrong with you people?" I didn't say it though.

Meanwhile I felt the gun become warm in my hand. The dumbass dude said "the gun's getting hot now," as if to imply it was still a dangerous weapon that he could use against me.

I didn't believe him. I didn't care. It was only warm. I didn't know what it would do but I sure as hell wasn't giving it back to him.

Then I woke up.

Waking up exasperated is far better than waking up sad or disappointed or depressed. Exasperation is an active emotion. You do what you want when you're exasperated because you just don't care what the outcome will be anymore.

Boston Area Winter Plus A Note From Vermont

I drove out to Wellesley today to go to my sister-in-law's Stella and Dot open house. While driving on Route 2 I was amazed by how ashy everything looks on a day in January when it's supposed to snow but it hasn't started to yet.

When I left Wellesley I took the Mass Pike from 128 to Prudential Center. As I drove under the city I looked at the gritty, blackened, concrete ceiling above me and thought "By God I love this filthy town." I really do. It's filthy and freezing and I really love living here.

Meanwhile, Pete is in Vermont, warm and cozy in his studio, looking out the window at an owl hunting:

Photo by Pete.

City Stuff

I am hearing the unmistakable braying of a beagle in the parking lot behind our apartment right now. I love that sound. Beagles are the most awesome pain in the ass dogs you can get! Noisy, unruly, escapey and adorable. Love that sound. Not a breed I'd choose for this urban an area but then I don't know everything.

It reminds me of a couple of other lovely city experiences I had in the last couple of days.

Sunday was No Pants Day on the T. I got on at Davis Square as I normally do. Things proceeded as usual until we pulled into the Harvard Square station. I spotted a couple of people on the platform who weren't wearing pants. They weren't completely naked from the waist down - they had tiny short-like things on - but they were less dressed than the usual T patron.

Odd entertainment stuff happens occasionally in Harvard Square - it could have been a dance troupe or some street circus performers, you never know. A couple of guys got on our car and the train moved off. Then the guys started taking off their shoes, taking stuff out of their pockets, fiddling with their belts. They were seated on the same side as me so I could see them reflected in the car window - you know, city style, so you're not looking directly at anyone.

The woman across from me started looking a tad bit uncomfy. She was across the aisle from them, looking straight at them. She'd had her back to the station when we pulled in so she hadn't seen the no pants people on the platform. I smirked at her to ease her mind. She got it. She could see I was watching in the reflection.

The dudes took their pants off and put their shoes back on. One guy listened to his iPod, another started reading. When we pulled into the Central Square station there were a few more no pants people on that platform. That's where I got out. The no pants guys from our car got out too. Not much of a T ride if you ask me. If I was going to ride no pants I'd want to get a bit more mileage out of it. But then, I don't know everything.

Today it was sixty degrees out. It's mid-January. This is not normal. You don't get beautiful, warm, sunny days in the Boston area in January. Only you did today. So I took a walk over to Porter Square to do some errands.

They're doing some construction at St. James Episcopal Church. I happened to notice that stretch of sidewalk because they had rented some "Rent A Throne" (or something) brand porta-potties and the name amused me. Then I saw a handsome dreadlocked guy coming towards me from the other direction, listening to his iPod and grinning a beautiful grin. The sun was shining, it was a pleasant city moment. I kept going into Porter and hit the drugstore, the hardware store and the craft store.

On my way back, on the spot where I'd had that pleasant city moment on my trip in, I had to step around a fresh vomit stain. It was just a damp stain - someone had cleaned up the bulk of it. I thought how glad I was that I had missed the incident when it had occurred. I was glad that someone had been thoughtful enough to clean up the mess. All in the forty-five minutes that had elapsed since I'd passed that spot. Another series of events that you wouldn't experience in the country.

That's what I have for you today. LIfe is a wonderful thing. You never know what it will bring.

Drawing Party Plus Cake

I'm making an apple cake. Wanna see? It smells great.

I haven't tried this recipe before. It's from Smitten Kitchen. It makes a doughy batter into which you stir four eggs, one at a time until each is incorporated. Then the batter becomes pourable. I haven't made a cake with batter like that before either. Ah, yes, I should also mention that the large lumps you see are chopped apples. There are two layers of chopped apples macerated in cinnamon and sugar.

When I looked at the volume of all the ingredients separately I didn't believe they'd all fit in the pan. I wedged 'em in there. I hope it doesn't take two hours of oven time because of all the stuff in that pan.

It's for a party I'm going to on Saturday. I met the hosts once then got invited to this party. I'll only really know two people there but I'm going. This is how I'm branching out and expanding my life. I'm bribing strangers to deal with my social awkwardness with home made cake! Brainy!

So here are photos of some of the drawings I did at our drawing party in chronological order:

Warm up

I liked how the warm up went so I did this guy in a similar fashion

Then I thought I'd go more experimental and use a pen with a nib that you dip in ink. There were a couple of different nibs used here. I've never tried this before. I'll try it again soon though.

At this point one of us had been drawing pictures of our friends incorporating anagrams of the friends' names. He was using an anagram app on his phone but we found the anagram for our friend, Jeff, inadequate. I was trying to figure out a better one because I am WAY smarter than an app, particularly after two Guinnesses. Yeah. That was a big success. See how I tried to use some vowels twice with a crossword technique? That didn't help.

Then I drew this kind of terrifying thing. Creepy blonde lady offering you cookies or something. I'm suspicious.

The last drawing I started on at the party was the kind of thing I had intended to draw when I had the idea for the party in the first place. The original idea (if you don't feel like clicking that link) was to have a party loaded with friends and  some beers to entice me to do the kind of drawing I'm bad at. Looking back I think I did accomplish that goal. I did try to draw in ways with which I am unfamiliar and the results show a distinct willingness to fail.

The next day I did this self-portrait to see if I could still draw at least as well as I did in high school The answer is yes. Slightly better in fact. This drawing is pretty small, about 2"x3". A bit wooden and sad but the likeness isn't horrible. A fairly quick drawing. I think my drawing teachers from art school would be disappointed but they'd be nice about it.

When I'm serious about drawing I don't use a pencil or pen so all of these drawings are a break in tradition for me. When I'm serious I use compressed charcoal and really big paper and a chamois (the kind you get for washing cars), a large eraser and maybe some sandpaper. It makes a huge mess - big piles of black charcoal dust and erasing crumbs on the floor. I really get into it. It's pretty physical. I find sketchbooks limiting. Pencils are too small and fine for if I'm really going to DRAW.

However, if I thought about it and really tried I could probably figure out a way to make a pencil or a pen work. People who are not me manage to make true art with those implements. I could do better than I have done.

I think that we all had a good time at the party. I had such a good time that I was really sad when it was over. I stood on the street corner with Pete and I didn't know what to do. The light had gone out of my life. The party was over.

Fortunately it was just about dinner time and Pete suggested we stay out and get a bite. So we had a nice dinner at Central Kitchen. Thanks, Pete!

Wow, restaurant websites tend to really suck. Too much flash! Too many fancy doo-dahs! People do not want things flashing in their faces when they're trying to find a menu or hours of operation.

Back to the topic at hand. I'm going to make this drawing party a regular thing. I want to do it twice a month. I think it's a great idea for me to practice willing public failure. If you're an artist you should be incorporating failure into every day. I feel that I do that. But I do it in private. It's easy, in private, to fail or to shirk failing. I guess I'm saying that I feel I don't fail well enough. These drawing parties are, for me, a fun place to fail publicly. This is a great habit to develop.

If I do this twice a month I can practice failing and exercise my drawing muscles and socialize. Win, win, win.

I know that if people have an option to come twice a month they're less likely to come at all. They'll figure "oh, I can always go next time." I do stuff like that myself. But damn it, I'm going twice a month.  If too few people show up and I get demoralized and feel far too unpopular then I can always cut it back.

Now here's how the cake came out:

Shiny!

Tree 2012

I'm pleased with it.

I haven't attempted to use the scanner yet. However, I did fix the Christmas tree lights. 

I'm VERY proud of my extremely basic electrical skills, let me tell ya. They didn't have replacement bulbs at the hardware store so I had to buy a whole new string of lights. Boo! The new string came with replacement bulbs! Yay! The little plastic doohickey that holds the glass bulb in the new set was not compatible with the sockets on the old set. Boo! It was close enough to make a temporary circuit though. Yay! I figured out which bulb had burned out on the old string with a light from the new string. The glass bulbs are compatible, so I replaced the bulb in the old doohickey with a spare from the new set. Now I have TWO working sets of lights! Yay! Go me!

Now you can behold the beauty of my confectionary tree! I like it so much that I'd like to have some people over for a drink and to look at it. Not too many people - our place is puny (as it should be) Very unlikely to happen though, at least before New Years.

I miss having parties. The last party we had was this one, in 2008 (with the blow-by-blow here) We could maybe fit a total of eight people in here comfortably but only for cocktails. Two people would have to sit on the floor if we were going to feed them too.

I want to have a blow-out! We used to do that every few years. I want to have a blow-out because I want to go to a blow-out. I can't go to someone else's blow-out because I'm not really a party person and I get to feeling really awkward around a lot of people I don't know. I guess I could go but I wouldn't blow it out there. I'd probably do my best to schmooze then leave early. Defeats the purpose.

If I'm going to have a blow-out it'll have to be at someone else's house. My party, their house.

Well that's enough rambling for one night. NaBloPoMo can get a blogger into some really bad habits.

Dreaded Drawing

So I pulled it together and organized a drawing party at a local pub. Pete was there and so was Liz. Our friends Ken and Selena were there too. Our friends Kate, Nate, and Hope couldn't make it this time. I'll show you what I drew once I figure out how to work our scanner.

I hope everyone had enough fun that they'd want to do it again. I'll invite more people next time too.

Different Things

So I am, as usual, disgruntled with myself. As usual, I feel like I've been "doing it wrong." I am dissatisfied with the results of my past efforts. I need to get over that.

It helps to have noticed how unrealistic my expectations of myself were. I don't feel like I've absolutely wasted the last ten years. I don't think I'm beating the crap out of myself about anything.

Still I want to move on and do things differently. I'm trying to become more comfortable with discomfort. I've begun to do things I usually hesitate to do for lame reasons. For example I'm going by myself to parties where I won't know many people or going out when it would be easier to stay in. I'm trying to do things that are hard for me.

It helps to have moved to another part of town. I probably wrote about this before three years ago when we moved from Brookline to Cambridge. Changing neighborhoods is like getting a whole new city. It's easy to avoid old habits. It's easy and fun to go to new neighborhoods and take different routes around town. Of course you can do those things even if you don't move to a different neighborhood - it just takes more effort.

Consciously doing things differently feels great. It's way more fun that staying in a rut. It's exciting to have new perspective and to try new things. One new, fun thing that Pete and I have been doing lately (thanks to our friend, Liz) is going for shabu shabu in Chinatown:

Shabu shabu is SO FUN! Also tasty. Chinatown is really easy to get to from Cambridge as well. 

The other day I took a walk into Harvard Square. I've lived in the Boston area for twenty-four years and there was a stretch of Mass. Ave. in Harvard Square that I'd never set foot on. I've driven by it many times, I've even walked across the street from it. It blew my mind that someplace so accessible had never been trod on by me until that day. It was a small thing but I relished it. 

Doing things differently makes me feel like I'm improving the odds that more interesting things and new people will come into my life. Life has been all about change lately and while many of the changes have been painful and profound, I'm liking the fresh winds that are blowing. Progress feels good even if it stings sometimes. 

Hobgoblin

Pete and I encountered this guy last night. He's a charming fellow.

It's Dread Season

Today was the first warm day of the year, both in Boston and in Vermont (at least, the first warm day I've experienced up north this year)

I think that's why I was feeling doom-y all day. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I even had a nice day planned - lunch with my sister-in-law followed by a trip to Penzey's spice store. My kind of fun and yet I just felt this strong undercurrent of dread. I didn't sweat it too much since it's not entirely unfamiliar. I just went on with my day and we had a good time.

Throughout the day I actually got a lot of green lights. Literally. I made all kinds of traffic lights that are usually red when I get to them. Things went really smoothly today. Still I couldn't shake the unease.

On the drive up to Vermont I suddenly realized that I'm scared of summer. I wish I was joking but I'm not.

I have a friend who hates New Years. She says it's not about her getting older, it's about change and the passing of time, about good things going away. I wonder if my fear of summer is something like that? I mean there are plenty of practical reasons why summer is not a good season for me (sunburn, humidity, especially delicious blood...)but none that explain the dread.

No matter though. Tonight Pete and I sat out on our patio with a couple of beers and some wasabi cheetos. We listened to the first owls and spring peepers, saw the first bats circling overhead, watched the half moon disappear behind rain clouds rolling in and felt unexpected zephyrs waft by. I began to come to terms with the oncoming change of seasons. I still felt as though doom is coming my way but I kind of got fed up and yelled out loud, "well okay then, come and get me!" That made me feel better. That and the nature and remembering the things I like about summer.

A Little Everyday Stuff

I know you all want to come over to eat now.  We do have a dishwasher though.

Hello good-lookin' - I mean, dinner.  If you did come over you might get this.

I really need to get on painting the apartment.

Ow, My Disorganized Brain!

At this moment I am thinking about:

making a cake

my bass lessons

my dog's drug and squeezing schedule

my parents

my vegetable garden

my non -vegetable garden

the friends I need to keep track of

my manicure? I know - but there it is.

my next job

going back to school for either art therapy or game design

vipassana meditation

whether it means anything that I don't care about the Winter Olympics (although I'm sorry about the lugist who died)

wouldn't it be nice if there were a couple more hours of Down By Law to watch

I was planning to make a cake today but the cake pans are in Cambridge as are my bass and bass homework.

In fact, it seems like I can't complete any task at all without having to make a few trips because I forgot something. Where the HELL is my pen? I just had it here a second ago!

This is not new. Being like this made me think I was stupid when I was a kid. Now it just aggravates the hell out of me.

I've heard that some people can focus. They can concentrate on one thing and become very good at it. I imagine that they think in an orderly fashion and rarely forget to bring all of the elements of what they need with them from place to place.

My brain doesn't seem to want to think about only one thing at a time. Is it that I'm deathly afraid to be bored? Do I require a certain amount of background confusion to feel normal? Am I just a little bit A.D.D?

Supposedly vipassana meditation helps one to control one's mind and to make better friends with chaos. I've been putting off making a concerted effort at it though.

Part of me is afraid to try to think differently than I do. I'm afraid who I am will be less interesting if I have fewer things going on inside. I really depend on my insides because I haven't got a lot to show on the outside: normal accomplishments that most adults have like salary, title, professional reputation.

Part of me is afraid that if I think more conventionally I won't be able to be as (ugh, here we go...) creative as I am now.

On the other hand, I already have thousands of ideas. Many, many ideas. Lists of them - enough to make for decades of work. Maybe if I was a more organized thinker I could execute more of them? Maybe then I could even take them to the next level and promote them and myself?

And part of me feels like a sniveling conformist for wanting to accomplish things and get credit for it.

I suppose it's possible that meditation could just give me better perspective about the way my mind works. It might even help me be more logical and less likely to waltz myself down a blind alley.

Once you change your brain though (neural pathways and all) you can't change it back. On the other hand, life's a journey and you're brain's changing all the time anyway. I might as well try to take the reins.

Come to think of it, maybe I like reading so much because it's an imposed system of focus for me. It might be a relief to accept some limits.

Get Some Taste

Dressed, once again, like a lunatic.

It's so much quicker and easier to post a funny picture than it is to write something interesting. It takes a lot less time too.

A Rainy Jumble

Today is a good day to take the T if you need to go anywhere.

I needed to go somewhere because my hand mixer died. That put a crimp in my cookie-making plan.

So I made a quick trip downtown to pick up a new one. I was almost blown off my feet crossing Copley Square. On the way home the rain was blowing so hard I couldn't see through my glasses. Also, there was a fantastic guitarist in the red line section of the Park Street station playing samba music and Christmas songs. Unfortunately I was on the wrong side of the tracks to give him some $. That man should be encouraged.

Now my first twenty cookies are cooling, the second twenty are baking and the last twenty are chilling in the fridge. I'm going to have to figure out a way to festify them though - as it is they look like brown blobs. Hello powdered sugar.

As for the dead mixer, I think I bought it at Bradlees in 1987 or something. It wasn't a spring chicken and it owed me nothing. My new mixer is red and has super powers. If that's not Christmassy I don't know what is.

And as for Pete, he's snowed in up in Vermont. They got over a foot up there. And Fay has the runs. So he's having a good day.

Unseasonable Growl

The last couple of posts illustrate my attempts at seasonal festivity. Unfortunately they've just been attempts. Mostly I'm really on a low-grade growl.

Yesterday we had to have our furnace replaced in the apartment. I spent many hours on the Lust Blanket while the men worked about a foot away from me. It took them all day and the apartment got pretty cold. They were good guys though. The worst part was when they had to use the PVC pipe cement and stunk the place up.

Today I'm making cookies for my sister-in-law, Kristen's, cookie exchange. Then I'm off to NYC for a holiday luncheon with my mom and some other relatives. Mom is coming out to visit her sister so I said I'd come down and meet her.

Because I'm traveling, Pete has Fay with him. It feels really strange not having her around. What's stranger is not having both of them around. I really miss having someone to check in with every forty-five minutes or so.

Oh my God? What if I'm imaginary? If a Mel's alone in an apartment does she exist?

This luncheon is kinda fancypants. We all used to go back in the '80's. It's a big buffet. In the olden days Ivana Trump was there. I haven't been since the early '90's. It used to be fun and festive. This year I'm intimidated. I don't want to be a bumpkin so I went shopping for some updates.

The shopping should have been fun but it wasn't exactly. The good news was that, thanks to Maya, I'm on the smaller side. I didn't know. The bad news is that now that I'm older I like nicer things which cost $$$$$. I don't really have $$$$$.

I did alright in the end. I got a pair of beautiful, classic shoes on sale and a dressy sweater coat that I can still wear when I'm 82. (Notice the rationalization? It wasn't cheap.) Those items will work well with things I already have and I don't think I'll be the bumpkin. I just wish I enjoyed it more.

If I play my cards right I'll have some photos of the lunch, and maybe the cookies, for later posts.

More General Interest Than The Last Post

Is that the most festive cable box you've ever seen or what?!

I did a little Christmas decorating in the Cambridge apartment yesterday. Don't worry Pete - it's all cheap-o from Target and T.J. Maxx and not too much. Just a little something jolly, small and easy to store. I'm pretty proud of the "snow." It's marabou ribbon for gift wrapping.

We're not in one place for long around the holidays (or at any other time) but I had to do something.

Last year I began my Christmas tree collection, never imagining that weeks later we'd decide to sell the house. There's not much room for a tree in this tiny apartment. Of course as I'm writing that I'm spotting a space just to my right that might work... Hmmm...

This place needs some serious personalization. It's kind of getting me down. I'm going to try to do something less seasonal about that this week.

Weather Report

The scenery on the drive up from Cambridge to Vermont was really beautiful tonight. A thick mist arose just as the sun was setting a beautiful orange red. I got a little flash back to Halloween as I passed the graveyard just outside of Keene, NH: soupy fog winding about the headstones. Spooooooky!

I hope that the adage, "Red sky at night, sailor's delight" holds true for tomorrow.

Oh Boo-Hoo.

Pete and I just got back from our former local, the Beacon Street Tavern. We had a lovely evening there as usual thanks to our pals Walshie and Dermott.

Everybody does not know our names there, just Walshie (the manager) and Dermott (the bartender/assistant manager) I don't want everybody to know my name. That would weird me out.

It's our former local because we moved.

We haven't found a new local in Cambridge yet. That's where the boo-hoo part comes in.

It's so great to have an easy place where you can go and have a drink, a decent meal and a nice trade of insults with the bartender. We haven't been out in our new neighborhood enough to find that yet.

I suppose we need to work harder at it. Boo-hoo.