I Wiped Out

Pete, Fay and I went to Newport, RI to visit Pete's parents on Sunday. Yesterday morning Pete and I went out in search of Carey Mansion, the house that was used to represent "Collinwood" in the daytime soap, "Dark Shadows." I tripped crossing Thames Street. I don't think I've skinned my knees since elementary school. It made me really furious. I'd only brought white shorts and white jeans and now I had two bloody gashes on my knees. Infuriating! Inconvenient! Hurty!

Fortunately I only spilled about three drops of the cappuccino I'd just bought. This was miraculous because I'd decided to roll after I hit the ground so I didn't have to climb up off my gory knees. I felt very Buffy. Probably my best fall ever, style-wise.

I'm not someone who falls down a lot so when I do fall it can have a big psychological impact. For some reason hitting the ground hard forces me to notice the things in my life that I've been trying to avoid. In this case what I'm avoiding is that Fay's treatments are not going well.

Her back legs are dragging and she's having some incontinence issues. It's the solids. They sneak up on her, usually right around meal times. In the day I can take her out before she eats and head off the problem. In the mornings she gets me up at five to take her out but we don't always make it. Sometimes there are bonus incidents too. I've stopped feeding her after three PM and I always take her out before bed. It seems to help but there are no guarantees.

The morning of my fall she got me up at 4:30 (I really needed that cappuccino!) Pete's parents live on the fourth floor of a building with a really slow elevator. We made it outside for all but the very beginning of the production. Every other similar event was managed entirely outdoors though. Phew.

This kind of thing has been going on for about a month. It's been really stressful getting up that early and trying to get out in time without disturbing anyone else. It was particularly stressful this weekend because we were in someone else's house and the outside was so far away.

The prednisone she's on has worked well to reduce the symptoms of her disease - she has been able to walk better and even do stairs sometimes - but whenever the dosage is reduced and we try a new drug she loses ground. She can't be on prednisone long term though because it has too many negative effects.

I'd been trying not to notice that the new drugs aren't working and trying to hide that I was worried about poop in Pete's parents' condo and the overall stress of poop management. The fall smacked me back down into reality.

Boy, did that piss me off. Naturally I cried my head off out of sheer fury and out of sadness at Fay's plight.

Back at the condo Pete's Dad bandaged me up with great care and sympathy. It was a side of him I'd never seen. So fatherly. Usually I see the Dinner-Buying or Authority-Figure Dad side of him. It was nice to see him using his strength and experience in such a compassionate way. I could tell Pete thought so too because he took pictures.

Later Pete and I bundled my gooey knees into the car and we drove to Carey Mansion.