It's Probably Personal

It occurred to me today that my feelings about the Democratic candidates are probably related to my childhood.

I went to an all girls' school growing up. Hillary Clinton reminds me of many of the women/teachers that surrounded me then. She feels familiar to me in a positive way. Barak Obama reminds me more of certain boys at the boys' school that I grew up with - a feeling equally familiar though somewhat less positive.

These were the guys at the top of the heap to whom everything came easily. They were handsome, brainy and athletic and their parents approved of them. They got everything right the first time. They felt entitled to look down on anyone who was not as fortunate as they were. They sneered at the girls' school teachers, derisively calling them "housewives." My teachers were housewives. Housewives with masters degrees and Ph.Ds. I bet those guys are now married to women like my teachers. I hope they have more respect for their wives. My teachers were fully qualified for and excellent at their jobs.

I don't know enough about Obama to know if he is like those boys. He could very well be like the boys I was friends with who were also handsome, brainy and athletic but who had a larger world view. I don't know why they weren't considered the top of the heap - they're the top of my heap. Maybe it was about self-perception. Maybe they lacked the desire to crush others and so they got stomped on a little bit. Some of them opted out of the hierarchy thing altogether.

High school is a difficult time for most people. Everybody gets through it as best they can despite the fact that they have no life experience, no sense of perspective, and almost no power to change their situations. We were all in the same boat and dealing with it as our different personalities, faults and strengths allowed. I can't hold anyone's behavior in high school against them and I really don't.

Somewhere inside me though is a girl who is still smarting from what went on in those days and who effects my view of what's going on now. Fortunately the bigger part of me is an adult who is capable of looking at the larger picture. There are benefits and drawbacks to both candidates. Obama would bring vastly more drastically needed change. Clinton has proved that she's extremely tough under grueling circumstances and she does have valuable experience: she's older and has been in public life longer. Ultimately I'll be happy with whoever ends up being the nominee. I think they're both qualified, that either would do an excellent job and I hope to God that one of them gets to do the job.