Okay, here's the situation: I'm afraid of food now. Yup.
I'm back to my normal coffee drinking levels (a mug and a half in the morning) but food, uh uh. I've tried yogurt and it hasn't gone so well digestively. I get heartburn really easily.
I was looking at some food blogs and I found out that I don't want to see fried food. No cheese burgers, no bacon (which is kind of a relief really) no spicy, nothing smothered with cheese or sauce. Stews or sandwiches I could have a little bit. Desserts, a little bit. NO MAYO!!!! NO SMOTHERING!!!!! I'm even afraid of whipped cream and chocolate. So sad!
Food is my main joy in life. If I had something to celebrate I wouldn't know what to do! Just say "Yay!" I guess.
I haven't had the nerve to try booze yet either. That's probably for the best since I'm barely eating anything. Whole wheat bread, brown rice, braised kale and eggs. Last night I made some black beans with a little bit of sauteed onion and garlic and a teeny bit of olive oil. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't one-hundred percent comfortable either.
It makes me wonder how much discomfort I had before that I didn't notice. Maybe I'm just being over-sensitive and wimpy?
When Pete and I were finally able to eat foods other than bananas, saltines and broth I was glad with an ungrateful streak. It's so much easier to eat those things. No preparation and hardly any dishes (though you do use up all the bowls and spoons you own pretty quickly) It leaves plenty of time for uninterrupted knitting and web surfing.
Before salmonella I was always hungry. It's hard work feeding a hungry person healthfully. You have to prepare a lot of vegetables. You have to think ahead and be sure to have all the ingredients you need. Healthy food doesn't have a massively long shelf life. Generally you can't just open a package and stuff something in your face. I wasn't looking forward to getting back into that rat race (the healthful eating rat race) frequent marketing and preparing.
Our nearest market (in VT - actually, NH) is kind of a bummer too. It's about a twenty-five minute drive away which isn't too bad but it doesn't have the greatest food. They have shrink wrapped lettuce. They have other lettuce too, thank God, but the first ten feet of produce when you go in the door is shrink wrapped. The first thing you see in the market - like it's a good thing. I try not to buy bread there because even the "gourmet" bread they have there is mass produced - rubbery and weird-tasting. Once we bought a bag of mass market bread from the bread aisle there (I don't know why) and it tasted like the cleaning supply aisle smells. It was really strange. It tasted like "spring fresh" scent. That is so wrong.
I'm so spoiled I don't want to stop what I'm doing and go to the grocery store so I can have healthy food! Or in this case, dig around for the meager remnants of healthy food that my nearest grocery store carries. Needless to say they don't have anything local. They do have some organic vegetables and dairy products. Meats are all mass produced.
Fortunately the Saxtons River Market has local bread and local meats. That makes for an extra stop but it is on the way.
None of this matters yet though because I can't bring myself to eat much of anything. Fortunately I'm not as famished these days as I usually am.
I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
The question is, what can I do now for pleasure? The answer is, make art. So now Mel, get off the computer and go to the studio!