I thought it was just that I was tapped out from a grueling holiday season. So much travel and the grieving process. The demise of my computer was a tough blow. I also got dragged in to some drama with a neighbor about something that doesn't involve me at all which was really hard to take. Her timing was putrid.
I've been too tired to think - even to daydream. I sure as hell haven't had any desire to interact with people. I feel pretty burnt. I'm not facebooking or even tweeting. I'm kind of avoiding e-mail too, although nowadays the only e-mail I get is either from Neiman Marcus or about Viagra.
I did want to go to my friend Jill's surprise party last night but I felt too lousy and didn't want to be the Typhoid Mary of the evening. I thought I might be feeling better last night but I woke up feeling crappy again this morning.
I have a very low threshold for bad news and problems these days. I don't want to hear gossip or bad-mouthing. I don't have the patience. So I guess it's just as well that I haven't left the apartment in five days except to walk the dog.
I'd planned to get a lot of my own work done this month. It turns out that "my own work" is recovering from last year. I think I can let go of my hopes to be "productive" because I feel so crappy that I don't have a choice.
So now I'm reading about Zen
and therapeutic yoga
and playing "Bakery Story" and "City Story" on the iPad. Hell - I'm blogging from the iPad. I hope it works okay since the interface is a little balky.
2 comments:
Looks like blogging from the iPad worked just fine. This is a bad year to be dealing with internal forces (the grief and stress) because external forces (evil viruses) are in full force. Even the people I work with who never get sick have been sick--one of them three times since fall!
Now, more than ever, you just need to spend some time babying Melissa. Holing up away from people isn't such a bad thing, either. It's not just that you don't want to spread it around... it's that all of those other human petri dishes are just lying in wait for unsuspecting victims!
Here's to feeling more like yourself soon!
Taking care of yourself is an excellent project! You can't be productive if you're not in a good place.
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