Old Spice and Other Things

I was thinking of posting about more old flesh in the news. They've taken the mask off of Tutankhamen's mummy so those who visit his tomb can see his face. If you go to this site you can page down and see some photos. He has a pretty good amount of face left for a body that old. I imagine that the 400 year old clam's complexion was fresher looking however, since it was still alive.

I wonder what they did with that clam? Chowder? Pasta? Certainly dissection. Wow, people really stink sometimes.

What I'm really excited about today is that the hour has come to start taking out the trash. Finally I can get rid of the recyclables and the fifteen-year old dried parsley leaves (okay, that's really an herb. But I also threw out a bottle of Accent. Can you consider MSG a spice? If not I'm sure there are some spices in the bag too) and the tea that I bought in 1990 that I just cleaned out of the pantry. The dozen bottles of hot sauce (spicy!) that our former house-mates left behind when they moved into their respective bachelor pads earlier this year. The six bottles of barbecue sauce and the instant rice and/or potato side dishes that appeared in the kitchen somehow that I will never use, make or eat.

Fay will have more room to maneuver her wheelchair now. This is very exciting.

Eating and Stuff

Some days I really don't want to bother to eat. But then I get REALLY hungry and there's nothing for it.

Then I have to decide (like everybody else on the planet who's lucky enough to have a choice) do I go cheapo and have a bowl of cereal or a piece of pie or (heavens to Betsey!) stop at McDonald's (only on the drive to or from VT) or do I be a "good" grown-up and make a salad? Stupid salad. Why does it always have to be a salad?

Usually I love eating but today I wish it were optional.

I continue to be in MA, mainly because I can't stand to miss another trash night here. We have something like seven bags of recyclables waiting to go out and the curbside trash can is full.

I'm not enjoying it that much. I had dinner with my friend Tammy one night, Fay has seen some of her dog friends, I handed out candy on Halloween and I'm purging the house of detritus (since I live here there's plenty of it) but I'd rather be in VT with the birds and the bugs and my studio.

T.S. I guess.

Is there anywhere where nature and culture co-exist?

Methuselah Clam

I am listening to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" the public radio news quiz show. It's my second favorite public radio show after "Marketplace."

They just said that a scientific group in Wales recently dredged up a living four-hundred year old clam. You can read more about it here.

Naturally they had to kill it to find out how old it was though I don't see why.

One lump of flesh lived peacefully for between 405 and 410 years. I wonder how many babies it had? Oh Lord - can I eat an animal that has the potential to live so very much longer than I can? What does a clam know? Flesh that lived that long!

It looks like a regular quahog like you find all over the place on the U.S. East coast. In fact, I have a quahog shell not ten feet from where I'm sitting typing this that I picked up in Amagansett. Now I have to count it's rings.

I'm going to be thinking about this for quite some time.

Photo credit: Bangor University

I'm Wussy

I grilled the oysters for lunch today. I got the recipe from License to Grill. The smell was amazing. I did use some of the sauce they suggested in the recipe but really I prefer oysters either plain or with a little squirt of lemon juice. Mignonette sauce is good too. Unless you're in New Orleans in which case a mix of Crystal sauce, ketchup and horseradish is the way to go.

Really though, I think oysters are best raw.

When Cecily gave me the oysters yesterday I went out and got myself an oyster knife. I was going to try to open those suckers up. I got instructions off the web and was all set to go.

You hold the oyster, cup side down (flat side up) in a dishtowel with the hinge on the outside of the towel. Place the point of the knife right near the hinge, push the knife in, then twist to open the shell. There's more but I got stuck after the part about the towel.

Where the hell is the hinge? The way back? What do you mean "near" the hinge? What do you mean "push" the knife in? I couldn't get the knife in. I couldn't even make out where the seam was on some of them. And I was honestly nervous about intruding into this oyster's home. I'm trying to eat the poor thing but I don't want to break and enter.

I love to devour oysters but I'm too wussy to detach them from their shells myself. When we go to Legal Seafood for our oyster orgies I tell myself that shucking them kills them and I'm not really eating them alive. Right. I don't want to kill them but I'm happy to eat them if someone else kills them. Right.

I should be a vegetarian. Or at least find some way to honestly come to terms with my cowardice. I'll never like killing things. I don't even like killing bugs or plants. That's not a good trait in a gardener.

Anyway, I resorted to the passive aggression of the Weber grill. I killed the oysters but not with my bare hands. And I ate them with respect and appreciation. That's the best I can do today. I couldn't leave them to die in vain in the back of my fridge.

More About the "Burger" King

The Burger King left his scepter on our front porch.

A Lovely Gift and a Halloween Follow-Up

I was just out in the back yard with Fay when Cecily, our next door neighbor, drove up and gave me a dozen fresh Wellfleet oysters. Someone had given her two dozen and she couldn't imagine using them all. In fact she said she couldn't imagine eating more than three.

This made me feel strange. Pete and I could easily eat two dozen oysters each. More. Are we oyster devouring monster freaks? Are we unhinged and out of control?

I've got the radio on as I type and I just heard that two people were stabbed and one was shot in Salem last night. Considering the numbers of people there for Halloween it doesn't sound that bad. It sounds like it could be the toll of a fairly ordinary night.

I shall leave you with a final frightening Halloween image:

No wonder the gummy fangs were so popular!

Halloween Report '07

Where to begin?

I stayed in Brookline for Halloween this year. I couldn't go spend a wild Halloween in Salem with our friends John and Nichole because Fay needs her medications on schedule. I couldn't bring her along with me due to her tendency to make puddles.

Halloween is truly scary in Salem - the place is packed with hordes of Halloween fanatics to the point where if I had a kid to possibly lose there's no way I'd take it there. I don't mean that I think someone would take my child with evil intent. It's just that there are so many people there going in different directions that I could see a kid just getting swept away - like in a flood. The sheer number of people is terrifying. Plus some of the celebrants are really intense and truly wish to become the vampire or barbarian warrior they are dressed as. Of course some of them are just drunk. For an adult it's exhilaratingly alarming. For a kid it's probably just unfathomable.

Then there's the supernatural spook factor if you're into that kind of thing.

Halloween in my neighborhood is a big deal for the trick or treaters. Our house is on a fairly busy main road where the front yards are small and can't sustain a full-on graveyard with reanimating zombies and vats of dry ice or animatronic pirate ships. The neighbors on our street tend to just have something like four or five jack o' lanterns plus fake cobwebs all over everything and a few fake bats hanging on the porch. Just around the corner though it's a different world. Many of the houses on the side streets do elaborate displays. I have heard about this but not seen much of it myself. How could I go looking around when there are hundreds of kids coming to the door looking for candy? I think they truck extra kids in from other neighborhoods.

I have to say though that my display this year was especially pathetic. I'm going to have to invest in good decorations next year (or better - this year on sale) All I had was my lone jack o' lantern. I could hear parties of kids going right by my house to greener pastures (or should I say, blacker wastelands? It is Halloween after all) It may also be that my house and yard are naturally spooky. Pete and I aren't around enough to do as much upkeep as many of the other (normal) neighbors.

The garden's unruly. In fact I designed it to take after a neglected churchyard. I knew I'd neglect it so I tried to give it structure with trimmed box woods - four cones defining a rectangle and two globe shapes flanking the entry point. Then I filled in with perennials you can kind of let go and they still look pretty: peonies, roses, ornamental grass, clematis. However I also put in a wisteria vine (which should be a whole other post) and some mint (for Cuban Mint Juleps) Those two have taken over so the garden looks more crazy neglected than romantic neglected. I also put in a rose arch that has tilted over the years. I keep meaning to right it but I haven't yet.

Fake cobwebs are one thing, actual dereliction is another.

So Fay and I manned the candy basket. The best costume of the night? In my opinion it was the Leonard P. Zakim Bridge. Runner up was the iPhone. There was also a very good table with spaghetti dinner on it. Not as many Hogwarts students as I expected this year.

Then there was the pair of six-foot teenagers, one dressed as a king with a sign that said "Burger" around his neck the other dressed as a hot dog. They looked really tired. The "Burger" king was limping. I hope it was a prank-related injury. The king said, patting his friend on the shoulder, "This is my wiener. I like to touch him a lot." They were my crudest trick or treaters.

This was my worst year for a costume ever. Even worse than the times that I had to do inventory at the Gap until two AM and afterward go to parties as a "Spooky Gap Employee." I did no costume this year. I think the only other time I went without a costume was in seventh grade when I was "too old." Naturally in eighth grade I was back to costumes. This year I left all my wigs in Vermont along with the costume bag. I tried to think up some way to put together some things that I had on hand but I couldn't fathom a costume that didn't involve a wig. I'm losing my touch.

I got a lot of compliments on my candy though. I'm proud of my candy distribution. I consider myself an expert. I concentrate on the major chocolates: Milky Way, Snickers, Three Musketeers, Reeses Peanut butter Cups, Almond Joy and Nestle Crunch. Then you have to satisfy the Fruitists: Starburst, Skittles, Nerds if you can find them. This year I found gummy fangs which were a big hit. I was also told that I was the only one with Starburst. Everyone else had Reeses and Butterfingers. This was said disparagingly.

I also got some compliments on the jack o' lantern. That was nice. I'm always doing my jack o' lantern at the last minute. One kid asked me how I got the zig-zag effect at the top. I was shocked. I thought everybody knew how to do that.

It's funny, I love everything about Halloween: the identity changing costumes, the fright factor, the candy, the jack o' lanterns. But somehow I'm never prepared. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Finally, after things had calmed down Fay and I went to see some friends from the dog park on another street. Fay walked all the way in her wheelchair. It was almost like a normal, pre-disease walk. She was really excited to see everyone and explore their apartment. And then she weed on their bedroom floor. Nuts! They were really nice about it. It's a good thing they're dog people.

Adventures in Pie Making

I made this apple pie a few days ago with the apples from the trees on our property.

Our apple trees are almost all entirely neglected. We had two of them pruned by an expert but those apples are so tasty that the animals get them first. The apples for this pie came mostly from a long, straggly tree near the crossroads of Mill Hill Road, Meeting House Lane and Route 35. It looks like a volunteer but it produces beautiful, tart, firm pie apples.

This year when Pete and I harvested the apples there was a big, yellow backhoe parked on our land in the brush right beside the tree. I felt lucky that they hadn't parked on the tree itself. I guess the phone company was supposed to be working on the lines nearby but they must have been on a lunch break. We found this out from the guy in our town who's in charge of the local infrastructure. He's the guy who does an amazing job of keeping the roads clear in the winter and drivable in mud season. He had come around to chew the crew out for something or other but he was disappointed because they weren't there.

He seemed concerned that we might be irate about having a strange backhoe parked in our brush. I know he was happy he came by when he did so he could make sure we knew it wasn't his. Since it wasn't parked on my favorite apple tree I wasn't irate. Pete found it a convenient step stool for reaching the higher apples.

The recipe for this pie came from Patty Pinner's Sweety Pies: An Uncommon Collection of Womanish Observations, with Pie. I made "My Grandmother's Hand Made Apple Pie." That's Patty Pinner's grandmother. I don't know that either of my grandmothers ever made a pie in their lives. My maternal grandmother's repertoire consisted of broiled lamb chops, baked potatoes and sliced apples. Oh yes, and ham, cream cheese and cornichon pinwheels. I believe she was also able to scoop cottage cheese from a container. I never ever saw my father's mother in any kitchen that I can recall.

The fat in the recipe for the crust is shortening plus a little bit of heavy cream. In years past I've been a butter crust person. At least half the fat would be butter. I have to say that the shortening based crust was just as good as a butter crust as far as I can remember. It was also easier to make than I'd remembered and handling the shortening made my hands feel much smoother.

To help with handling the dough and getting it into the pie plate in one piece, I rolled it out between two sheets of cling wrap. Good system. Also, before you put the top crust on over the filling you're supposed to dot the filling with two tablespoons of butter. I just took my stick of butter out of the freezer, marked off two tablespoons on the stick and grated it off over the filling with the cheese grater. Take that butter dots! I'm going to do that with all my butter dots from now on.

We picked more apples than would fit in that pie so next on my apple agenda is a tarte tatin. I'm going to use pre-made puff pastry though. Cheater!

Thinking of my paternal grandmother makes me want a Manhattan. She had one every evening. She was a pilot and also used to shoot rattlesnakes with a revolver. You'd never know it to look at her though. I only saw her at family events in nice, tasteful, brocade or knit skirt suits and carrying a pocketbook. I definitely remember seeing her enjoying her nightly Manhattan.

Am I Writing About Baseball?

I have to say that going to a World Series game was very exciting. Don't kill me but I'm not a huge baseball fan - no, I don't think the ticket was wasted on me. An experience is an experience.

I'm happy to report that the National Anthem was not sung by Carly Simon or Steven Tyler or by any of the New Kids on the Block. They had John Williams write and conduct his own arrangement and it was played by the Boston Pops.

The most viscerally exciting part for me came next: the flyover by the Vermont Air National Guard. Four F-16s. LOUD, core-shaking, exhilarating, frightening. It gave me the kind of deep, dark thrill that I've been relishing so lately. You know, enjoyment of something it's wrong to enjoy? How could I think that flying a war plane is SUCH A COOL JOB!!!???? It was so cool.

Then whoever was left of the '67 Sox came out with Carl Yazstremski to throw out the first pitch. Good to see Yaz.

The game itself was easy to watch for a Boston fan. Everyone knows the Sox won 13 to 1. The first few plays were mayhem for the fans. By the fourth inning it seemed like everyone was taking it like an ordinary baseball game. By the sixth inning I felt sorry for the Rockies. Pete and I left early in the eighth inning to avoid getting stuck in a sea of jubilant yahoos. It takes a lot for a Red Sox fan to feel confident enough that they're not going to lose that it's okay to leave the game early. I took a moment at my favorite spot in the ballpark, right where you first come out into the stands, and said goodbye to my World Series experience.

Yeah, it kind of rained but it was a beautiful night. If you have a large pile of extra money and a chance at some tickets, you might want to try going to a World Series game.

Go Sox!

Pete and I are going to game one of the World Series tonight. I hope it's not a rain-out!

Ordinary Day in Vermont

A couple of photos of some wet grass seed heads outside my door. It rained last night in VT for the first time in weeks. The wet seed heads are lavender colored in real life too.

I downloaded the new Radiohead album today: "In Rainbows." I've listened to it three times so far and I really like it. It's outrageously beautiful.

Also, I made a butternut squash polenta from a recipe I got from the Washington Post. Usually I'd bake the squash first to make the puree but this time I nuked it. It came out perfectly cooked. That butternut squash was so sweet just plain, I couldn't believe it. I'll be making that again soon.

I find that lately I've been using way too much salt and eating too much sugar. What's that about? Not too much for me, but more than experts would approve of.

Whoops! A certain aroma just reminded me that I'm also toasting the squash seeds in the toaster oven. I didn't burn them - phew - they're just done. But I did over salt them! You know, if I made the extra puree into soup I could use the toasted seeds as a tasty garnish.

Other aspects of my ordinary day in VT: I finished reading The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman, worked in my studio, did my Yourself!Fitness XBox workout, ate a (frigging) salad and got the dog to chase a tennis ball in the house while in her wheelchair. Eventful! Productive! How ordinary is that really?

It's a Good Thing She's So Cute