Halloween Report '07

Where to begin?

I stayed in Brookline for Halloween this year. I couldn't go spend a wild Halloween in Salem with our friends John and Nichole because Fay needs her medications on schedule. I couldn't bring her along with me due to her tendency to make puddles.

Halloween is truly scary in Salem - the place is packed with hordes of Halloween fanatics to the point where if I had a kid to possibly lose there's no way I'd take it there. I don't mean that I think someone would take my child with evil intent. It's just that there are so many people there going in different directions that I could see a kid just getting swept away - like in a flood. The sheer number of people is terrifying. Plus some of the celebrants are really intense and truly wish to become the vampire or barbarian warrior they are dressed as. Of course some of them are just drunk. For an adult it's exhilaratingly alarming. For a kid it's probably just unfathomable.

Then there's the supernatural spook factor if you're into that kind of thing.

Halloween in my neighborhood is a big deal for the trick or treaters. Our house is on a fairly busy main road where the front yards are small and can't sustain a full-on graveyard with reanimating zombies and vats of dry ice or animatronic pirate ships. The neighbors on our street tend to just have something like four or five jack o' lanterns plus fake cobwebs all over everything and a few fake bats hanging on the porch. Just around the corner though it's a different world. Many of the houses on the side streets do elaborate displays. I have heard about this but not seen much of it myself. How could I go looking around when there are hundreds of kids coming to the door looking for candy? I think they truck extra kids in from other neighborhoods.

I have to say though that my display this year was especially pathetic. I'm going to have to invest in good decorations next year (or better - this year on sale) All I had was my lone jack o' lantern. I could hear parties of kids going right by my house to greener pastures (or should I say, blacker wastelands? It is Halloween after all) It may also be that my house and yard are naturally spooky. Pete and I aren't around enough to do as much upkeep as many of the other (normal) neighbors.

The garden's unruly. In fact I designed it to take after a neglected churchyard. I knew I'd neglect it so I tried to give it structure with trimmed box woods - four cones defining a rectangle and two globe shapes flanking the entry point. Then I filled in with perennials you can kind of let go and they still look pretty: peonies, roses, ornamental grass, clematis. However I also put in a wisteria vine (which should be a whole other post) and some mint (for Cuban Mint Juleps) Those two have taken over so the garden looks more crazy neglected than romantic neglected. I also put in a rose arch that has tilted over the years. I keep meaning to right it but I haven't yet.

Fake cobwebs are one thing, actual dereliction is another.

So Fay and I manned the candy basket. The best costume of the night? In my opinion it was the Leonard P. Zakim Bridge. Runner up was the iPhone. There was also a very good table with spaghetti dinner on it. Not as many Hogwarts students as I expected this year.

Then there was the pair of six-foot teenagers, one dressed as a king with a sign that said "Burger" around his neck the other dressed as a hot dog. They looked really tired. The "Burger" king was limping. I hope it was a prank-related injury. The king said, patting his friend on the shoulder, "This is my wiener. I like to touch him a lot." They were my crudest trick or treaters.

This was my worst year for a costume ever. Even worse than the times that I had to do inventory at the Gap until two AM and afterward go to parties as a "Spooky Gap Employee." I did no costume this year. I think the only other time I went without a costume was in seventh grade when I was "too old." Naturally in eighth grade I was back to costumes. This year I left all my wigs in Vermont along with the costume bag. I tried to think up some way to put together some things that I had on hand but I couldn't fathom a costume that didn't involve a wig. I'm losing my touch.

I got a lot of compliments on my candy though. I'm proud of my candy distribution. I consider myself an expert. I concentrate on the major chocolates: Milky Way, Snickers, Three Musketeers, Reeses Peanut butter Cups, Almond Joy and Nestle Crunch. Then you have to satisfy the Fruitists: Starburst, Skittles, Nerds if you can find them. This year I found gummy fangs which were a big hit. I was also told that I was the only one with Starburst. Everyone else had Reeses and Butterfingers. This was said disparagingly.

I also got some compliments on the jack o' lantern. That was nice. I'm always doing my jack o' lantern at the last minute. One kid asked me how I got the zig-zag effect at the top. I was shocked. I thought everybody knew how to do that.

It's funny, I love everything about Halloween: the identity changing costumes, the fright factor, the candy, the jack o' lanterns. But somehow I'm never prepared. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Finally, after things had calmed down Fay and I went to see some friends from the dog park on another street. Fay walked all the way in her wheelchair. It was almost like a normal, pre-disease walk. She was really excited to see everyone and explore their apartment. And then she weed on their bedroom floor. Nuts! They were really nice about it. It's a good thing they're dog people.