Here I am, alone (with Fay) in the beach house. Mom just left for the airport to go back to California and I'm not leaving for another hour.
I'm scared. I'm scared that I did something wrong. Not anything special, just something. Or a lot of things. I'm scared that I'll never come back here again. I'm scared that all the good things will go away. I'm scared of all the difficult things I can see that I'm going to have to do in the next few months (I have a couple of fun things planned but they're not making up for the hard things right now) I'm scared of disappointing the people I will inevitably disappoint one day (or have already disappointed only I don't know it yet)
But hey, I can't just curl up and die - I have a ferry to catch and I love a boat ride.