Tooth And Claw

The world is showing me its scary face today.  Or maybe I'm just agreeing to look today when I choose not to on other days.

Some days it seems like life really is a brutal struggle for survival - like on that nature series, "Planet Earth."  On those days my very first impulse is to make cupcakes.  Actually, my first impulse is to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.  But if I do that I just think about how scared I am and I have to get up and distract myself somehow.

So I want to make cupcakes.  Small, cute, sweet, positive.

I was also thinking about the "attention to the moment" concept.  It does work.  It is calming.  At the moment I am having a nice cup of coffee with half and half and my belly is full from the scrambled eggs I made.  I even used truffle salt on them.  In a minute I'm going to get myself a cinnamon donut.  I'm sitting peacefully in my apartment, I don't have any itches, it's quiet, I have every expectation of tranquility and security.  Why worry ahead of time about things that may never happen?

I'm not even thinking about anything that might happen to me.  I'm thinking about horrible things that have happened to other people.

And despite the fact that I am quite comfortable I want to make cupcakes and buy nail polish and go to a book store and wear red shoes and do all of the things that make me think that life is stable and pleasant and not so bad after all.