Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Last month's Martha Stewart Living magazine featured photos of Martha's vegetable garden in New Jersey. The first thing I thought when I saw the pictures was "it looks like a prison." First there's the enormous fence to keep out the deer and other critters. I imagined it being electrified to really show those rabbit thieves. Then there's the strict order, as if the beds were laid out with laser guides instead of string and stakes or a garden hose like normal people use.

I didn't want to associate her garden with prison, seeing as she's been there recently. It seemed like a cheap shot. But if the shoe fits...

It got me thinking though. Martha's such a control freak. I could see her having very strong opinions on how a prison should be run if she were forced to think about it (which she was, unfortunately) I could see her really admiring a well-run prison and being really annoyed by a poorly run one. I could see her demanding an interview with the warden and proposing efficiency improvements. I bet she has tons of ideas on how to improve the effectiveness of jail-time and how it could potentially instruct and improve the lives of the inmates. Enforce discipline, inculcate good habits, teach useful skills, instill self-respect in the inmates, foster actual reform. Everybody would win.

If the Domestic Doyenne thing ever gets old for her and she needs a new challenge I think she could do a lot of good in the Corrections field. Serious.

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