I Got Nothing For You

It's a race against time!

Will I be able to think of a post topic before Pete gets home in an hour and a half?

Me: Come on brain, think!
Brain: Nothing. Nothing. Nothing...

Me: Maybe if I eat this bag of potato chips?
Brain: Burp! More!

Me: Chocolate?
Brain: More potato chips!

Me: What? But you love chocolate!
Brain: Try meditating.

Me: You know, brain, I have a lot of stuff I need to figure out and you just don't seem to be getting with the program. I need you to pull yourself together and help me out! Come on! What do I have to do? I've been providing you excellent oxygenated blood flow, reasonable, balanced amounts of the hormones you need, I've been sleeping alright. What am I missing?
Brain: Duhhh...

Me: Okay, I'll try meditating.
Brain: Socks, cars, the number 3, it smells like apples in here. 3. 3. Sleeping. Wake up! One, one, two, two, pink, aqua, platform-heeled shoes, threeee, sleeping, three, you're an idiot, three...

Thirty minutes later:
Brain: I got nothing for you.

Sorry folks.