California Brunch

Brunch dessert

They have fancy sand here

California Breakfast

We're at my mom's house and boy, is her house full of great food. My breakfast has Uncle Sam cereal and yogurt under all that fruit. I could eat like that in New England too but it's much harder to come by fresh fruit of this quality there. 

Food-wise I've been just barely getting by lately. I just buy the least possible stuff to feed my face healthfully. Pretty much all I buy at the market is kale (or Brussels sprouts or broccoli) dried beans, eggs and bread.

(What's the deal with this Oxford comma thing? My school was all hoity-toity, self satisfied about not using one. I distinctly remember my teacher's exposition on it. I don't remember which teacher it was so maybe I'm making it all up. "Ultimately it doesn't matter which way you choose to do it as long as you are consistent. We do not use one here at NCS." That's how I remember it.

I have very strong memories of learning punctuation. It must have been very important to me. I rember being very confused about commas and latching with relief on the takeaway: when in doubt, leave it out. I have a lot of doubt. I don't always leave it out.)

Two parenthetical paragraphs. Who am I? Mini David Foster Wallace?

Anyway, we were talking about food. I also buy bourbon and pickles but that should be obvious from some of my recent posts. (Looks like I should also be stocking up on matches, if you catch my drift.)

Maybe I'd buy a better variety of more interesting foods if I was concentrating on life's joys. I've really been focusing on the duties lately. It's fine. I'm healthy. I'm getting a lot done. I'm learning a lot which is something that is very important to me. I'm even enjoying myself when I can. It's a low-key satisfaction-with-being-relatively-competent-as-an-adult kind of enjoyment. Sounds fun, huh? Well it's different and I like variety.

I don't feel quite ready yet to go back to variety in my food buying habits yet. Grief brings out austerity in me I guess. I'm still finding my way through this landscape of absent things. I feel like I need to focus and not distract myself with strawberries. Chocolate and booze (in moderation - I'm a middle-aged lady and can't process the sauce like I used to) are okay though. Chocolate is actually a necessity.

For now I'm on vacation at Mom's and I'm so happy to take advantage of what she's provided. Thanks Mom!

Control Your Punctuation, Maybe?

And another thing:

I was thinking about this while I was on the treadmill today trying to harness my mind into thinking about something useful while my body was busy doing something I wasn't especially comfortable thinking about: (double colons! Triple "thinkings!" That can't be good...) I was thinking* about resolutions and goals for the upcoming months. Like sticking to a budget and being tidier. It occurred to me that my resolutions and goals tend to be about me controlling myself.

Whoa Nellie! Control yourself! It's a slippery slope! Better watch it or you'll wipe out! As usual!

It occurred to me that maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Maybe it would be more fair, more reasonable if you're going to tighten up somewhere, to loosen up somewhere else? But where can a goofball like me afford to loosen up? I do not know. I'll have to think about it. Anybody have any thoughts?


*Another one!

You Cannot See

Today is the kind of day where you're walking down the street and your glasses channel the wind directly into your eye. Your eye then shoots out a stream of tears. You close said eye to disengage the tears (and to keep the wind out of it) and it immediately freezes shut. Yeah!

Breakfast

Traditionally it's steak and eggs.

Nothing Special Please

Things that are making me very happy right now: 

1) This week has nothing fancy and nothing special going on in it. I am SO excited about that. No parties, no events, no eating out.

2) It's going to rain tomorrow. Why does the prospect of rain make me happy? I don't know. Maybe because it won't be nine degrees out? It's likely to become a horrible mess what with all the snow that's already piled up out there (especially since it looks like it is going to be nine degrees the day after tomorrow.)  I'm not going to over-think it. If something wants to make me feel happy, I'm letting it.

Okay, I just remembered that the closing party for our show at the gallery was postponed (due to a snow storm) from two nights ago to this Friday. Something at least special - if not fancy - will be occurring this week. Sigh. I won't let it get me down. I just want my life back. I have things to figure out and by gum, I'm gonna do that! I have four ordinary days in a row to work with...

I am also rather pleased with my Grumpy Cat weather app.

All That And A Little Champagne

I'll admit it: I'm down in the dumps today. To my mind (and sense of superstition) that's not a good way to kick off a new year.

I tend to dress with symbolism. Here are the symbols I've chosen to help me out today:

The new "bralette" I found myself yesterday. It's day-glo green, not that you can tell from the photo.

My Charlie button, to honor my friend who I love, and my whammo earrings to give me strength and remind me of my goddess of a sister-in-law who gave them to me. It's nice to know someone like that has your back.

I've also got a selection of deep pink lipsticks and these:

(Photo taken on a moving train) for extra oomph.

All that and a little champagne and I'll probably make it through.

Girl Talk

A meaningless post of limited interest to anyone who isn't me. Just something I want to "get off my chest." HA HA HA! 'Cause it's about BRAS!

Okay, I guess I did lose A LOT of weight, particularly in the boob region because I don't have any anymore. No boobs. Now all my bras are huge and empty and crinkle like raisins under my clothes. I want to get rid of them all. Do people want secondhand bras? Maybe newer ones. I'll probably just toss 'em.

Anyway, I don't have (or don't want to spend) the time it takes to figure out what size I am now. Still, I'm old and saggy and vain enough to not want to go without. Gotta do something. 

I suppose I could get by with bikini tops until I feel like going through the rigamarole of solving my saggy mosquito bite problem. Maybe I could find myself some piña colada scented perfume and pretend I'm on vacation! So long, midwinter blahs!

It's hard for me to imagine getting midwinter blahs when I'm so excited to have my regular, not-Christmas, life back. I have projects I'm working on. I have experiments to do. My big goal over the next three months is to see if I can keep myself reasonably sane. 

My theory is that everything runs more smoothly if I'm sane. That sounds obvious. Think of all the undermining behaviors one gets up to when one is stressed out and feels constantly harried. Stress eating, impulse buying, watching too much T.V., otherwise self-medicating. It boils down to precious resource wasting: money, time, energy. If I can stay sane just look at all the everything I'll save.

But it can be hard to prioritize sanity. It's amazing how easy it is to put aside the simple things that keep me sane (like having enough time to myself or getting enough sleep) for accommodating other people.

It's going to be a big project. I will have to concentrate. I'll have to stick to my guns. I'm interested to see how it works out. So how could I develop midwinter blahs? I'm sure I'll manage. Everyone does.

Bikini tops under sweaters and fleece and down. Why not? It doesn't hurt to try. I love experiments.

Lackadaisical

There are some good things about having too much crap to do. For one thing, you're too busy trying to get stuff done to become overwhelmed by the stuff you're failing to keep up with. For another thing, you don't have time to think about whether you "feel like" doing something. You have to do it right then or else it doesn't get done.

I am moving slow today because I'm under the impression that I can get away with that. CHRISTMAS IS OVER!!!! (Actually, it ran me over and I've got sleigh-marks in my back and bits of glass ornaments and candy cane shards embedded in my face. It's over but I still owe presents and cards. I am behind.) I'm spending today doing my Yayit'snolongerChristmas manicure (which I'd love to show you but I'm utterly failing at taking a reasonable photo of it. Maybe if I had Google Glass I could take a nice, hands-free photo of both of my hands. Hell, I'll just post a crappy photo:

See - not Christmasy at all.)

I'm also doing laundry, looking at way too much Facebook (boring) and generally poking around the apartment to no purpose. I cannot be bothered to care. It is conceivable that later this evening I'll get around to thinking about how the past year has gone (off the rails) and what kind of changes I want to make in the coming months. Will that be before or after I watch "The X-Files" and knit? Before or after I check to see if the kale I left in the fridge a week ago has rotted? Before or after I mix myself up a nice Manhattan? Only time will tell.

Here are the completed bourbon balls. Pete's dad and I are in his car waiting in the hotel parking lot for Pete's aunt to come down so we can all go to Pete's parents' house for Christmas Day festivities. As you can see, the balls are decorating the dashboard. 

Random photos from the past week:

Tripped on my run. Later, I banged my knee on the glass coffee table at my in-laws' house. My knees are still ridiculously bruised and black.

Random sheep figurine

Christmas manicure, left hand

Christmas manicure, right hand

The water was very nice. The skirt covers the enormous bandage on my knee.

Speaks for itself

I am under the impression that I have time for a lull so lulling I am. I didn't run today. I didn't buy any late Christmas gifts for Pete or my mom or my brother or anyone else I owe. I didn't go out and get New Years cards to send to people I'd wanted to send Christmas cards to. I didn't call anyone on the phone for post-Christmas debriefing. 

Maybe tomorrow I'll let my mind wander over to where the list of things I'm behind on is and start taking a poke at it. I imagine I'll go running. I'll balance the checkbook and pay the bills. I'll try to find a soju of the month club for my brother. I'll box up the gifts I got for people but didn't send. I'll light a fire under myself and try to spark the world again. Today is lost and it's mine to lose.

Make Do Christmas

My in-laws live in Florida. It's a blustery Christmas Eve here today. Pete and Marc have spent a pretty good amount of time outside today. They even went swimming in this ocean:

Me? I'm attempting to make bourbon balls.

I, crazy nut that I am, went to the first market I could find today (I don't really know where anything is in this town) It was bonkers in there with people doing their last-minute holiday emergency shopping. People were very nice though. I was able to park sooner than I thought I'd be and the folks milling around in the market were full of holiday cheer. Everyone was wishing everyone else a merry Christmas. None of this hippy-dippy "happy holidays"crap in Florida. Hey, I was raised in the Christian tradition so I'm not offended. I wished 'em all merry Christmas right back. Why not?

Then I went back to my in-law's rental condo where we're staying.

It can be funny to try to make things in other peoples' rental condos. Often times you can't find the equipment you need. I wouldn't dare to try to make cupcakes here. Marc couldn't find a frying pan here yesterday. No way there are muffin pans.

Bourbon balls do not require baking or any sort of pan. They aren't chemistry like real baking. You just grind up cookies and pecans and mix them with powdered sugar, bourbon and Karo syrup, wad 'em into balls and roll them in more powdered sugar. So I've been told. This is the first time I've tried to make any.

I used the blender that was really intended for mixing daiquiris to chop up my cookies (took forever) and my pecans (no trouble.) I found a large, plastic bowl to mix everything in. Miraculously I even found dry measuring cups (I'm completely shocked!) and measuring spoons. I got everything successfully processed and mixed. Then I ran out of time. The dough will have to sit for a while (which isn't bad - the flavors will meld better that way) until after Christmas Eve fancy dinner. Bourbon balls for breakfast? Could be. Midnight snack? Also possible. With picklebacks? I wouldn't put it past us, sadly.

So I'm getting a quick post in before I get fancypantsed-up. That could be interesting (to me) too - I packed the morning before we left after three hours of sleep. I don't know if my fancy duds will pass muster. Well, I brought what I brought and that's all there is to it.

Come to think of it, I should start getting ready now. We're expected at Pete and Marc's parents' in 35 minutes. Pete and Marc are still outside getting blown around in this weather. Perhaps we'll be late?

This is not your storybook Christmas. It's great though. We're all half-assed. It's nice that we agree about it. Hitting all the high spots and letting everything else slide. Ha!

Since I live in the politically correct U.S. northeast I will wish you all very happy holidays!

Not 100% Late

I was not late to work and when I got there someone had left me a present.

Pretty sweet.

Bet I'll Be Late

Man, does this blog need a facelift! Not today though.

It's too cold to do anything. It's too early to eat breakfast. I'm a big crank and I don't want to do anything involved with getting ready to go to work.

You know what I want to do today? I want to have some damned fun! Make chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and decorate them with multicolor confetti sprinkles - the kind you eat, duh, not paper ones - and maybe some clear sparkly sugar to evoke actual frost. Wintery! Festive!

Then I want to go get some fancy papers (shiny, glittery stuff, nice tissue paper) and box up the Christmas gifts I got for people and mail them off so they get there in time for Christmas. Wouldn't it be good if I had done that last week? Well I was busy last week so I didn't. I'm busy today too so I won't be doing it today either. Sigh.

You know what else would be nice? Another week to spend just paying attention to Christmas preparations. I'm ready to do that now. All my other stuff I had to do is done. I can shop now. I can make little gifties and send Christmas cards. Well, I'm almost ready. I'll be really ready next week. Oops.

Oh, and I'll need another two weeks to go to parties so I can make sure and see everyone I want to see for the holidays. And let's not forget the holiday baking and cooking that it's so fun to do. I could probably wedge that into the two weeks I set aside for parties, during the days.

So I think I could be ready for Christmas if I spent the next three weeks exclusively on Christmas stuff. Of course we all know that Christmas is in one week and we all have TONS of other stuff we have to do.

Oh well. Gotta muddle through. It won't be perfect. I'll hit the high spots. Some people - a lot of people - will get their gifts in January. I ain't going to see everyone. Life's a process. Live and learn do everything the same wrong way over and over again. I'll probably be late to work today too. I bet I'm not the only one!

The tree looks a lot like it did last year but, hey, I have a tree!

I'm not really that cranky. I've had some fun in the last couple of weeks. I've been lucky to do some things I don't normally do. I hope I find time to post some photos in upcoming days.

Good winter holidays to you all!