I Hypnotized Me

Last night Pete and I ran into an older guy who he hadn't seen in a while.  Pete asked the guy how his summer was and the guy said "perfect."

I was so happy and astonished to hear that.  It made me I realize I'd convinced myself that my life had entered a downward spiral and everything was going to be, let's say unrewarding from now on.  I'd convinced myself of that without knowing it.  How stupid is that?

So maybe I'm not my usual, effervescent self and that feeling of joy is harder to come by and doesn't stick around as long.  Time will bring those things back to me.  Right?

Maybe next year I'll have a perfect summer.  Not that I like summer.  But anything's possible.

Almost November

Well, it's almost November and you know what that means: NaBloPoMo.  This year it also means NaNoWriMo.  I'm going writing bonkers!

I'm really excited about writing the novel.  My plan is to write whatever the hell comes out - any goddamned thing.  I'm looking for a wild, bumpy ride.  That will probably work for two days and on day three I'll have nothing going on and think "what the hell did I get myself into?" and there I'll be.

I've been reading Stephen King's On Writing and enjoying it very much.  Yesterday I was very pleased and relieved to discover that he feels it's unwise to begin with a plot in mind.  I don't think I've ever written anything with a plot.  I'm a short story girl as far as writing goes.  It's easy to get away without a plot with those.  I certainly don't have a plot in mind now.  Characters yes, plot no.

Of course he does suggest you start with a situation as well as characters.  Hopefully a situation will come to me.

I'm having all these elaborate fantasies of coming up with something really amazing.  This project will be the magic bullet that will expose my awesome insides to The World and all kinds of interesting people will find that they want me to be their new best friend.  Yeah!  I think that with every project I start.  I also think I'll win the lottery.

First Frost

Harvested a bit of basil last night.  I guess I'll be making pesto later today.

I Heart Kimchi

For starters, let me just say that I was doing some serious weeding today and when I was done I thought an after-gardening martini would be a good idea.  At the moment I'm done with the martini and I could probably use some food.  So that's where my head is.

Speaking of food, I thought I'd relate my first experience with kimchi.  I <3 KIMCHI SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!

It was back in 19 (yes, last century) 1989.  I was working at an animation company (why the HELL did I leave???  Oh yeah, they weren't paying me*) called Olive Jar.  Yes, it was super-fun.  It was also kinda freaky because I had just moved to Boston and I was unfamiliar with the Boston attitude.  Let's just say that some people could be moody and I thought it was me when it was really them.

At lunchtime this guy, A.J., the DP (Director of Photography, or cinematographer) had a jar of kimchi.  We ate family style at Olive Jar.  Isn't that cool?  I also had my first quinoa there.  Anyhoo, the smell of the kimchi really intrigued me.  A.J. was a friendly guy so he let me have some.

Holy crap!  All I wanted was more kimchi!!!!  It was really obvious and I think it amused him.  I probably could have eaten the whole jar but I held myself back.  It was difficult though.  I had kimchi in my soul.

Okay, now I'm going to track down some dinner for myself.  My martini thinks it would be a good idea if I had a hot dog with kimchi on it and some spicy mac 'n' cheese.

I made the mac 'n' cheese a few days ago.  It's KICK-ASS!!!!!  It reheats well too.  The recipe made something like five pounds of mac 'n' cheese.  For starters you make a pound of pasta and use two pounds of cheese.  Then there's the roux which requires five cups of milk/cream.  No wonder it's KICK-ASS!!!!!

Please be assured I will also make some nice, healthy vegetables too.  Probably steamed broccoli.

*And it's a good thing too - I was incompetent.

Yoo-hoo, Something Good...

I am more than ready for something good to happen.

However, life isn't Santa Claus and if you want something good to happen you have to make it happen.  I don't know how to do that.

So I guess I'll just slog through the things I do know how to do and tackle some other things I don't know how to do until something adds up to something good.

Wish me luck.

The Island Doesn't Want Me Back

I was so excited to get back up to Vermont.  The weather was perfect this week and I was going to spend it kicking ass in the garden.  Unfortunately I came down with a @#$%^&! cold.  I've felt so lousy and out-of-it that I've pretty much spent the last four days in bed.


It feels like I've been away from my life for nearly two months and I'm not allowed to get back to it yet.


Of course I could look at it that this is my life now.  Oy.


Today I worked up enough energy to make some soup which I'm pretty sure will cure me.  Here's the recipe:

Chicken Soup with Lemongrass and Dried Mushrooms

A generous handful of dried mushrooms
4 cups chicken stock
4 slices peeled fresh ginger
1 large lemongrass stalk, cut into 2" pieces and crushed (or 1 teaspoon fresh lemon zest)
16 fresh kaffir lime leaves or the grated zest of 1 large lime
1/4 cup lime or lemon juice, freshly squeezed
2 to 3 tablespoons Thai fish sauce
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 tablespoon red chili paste
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
1/2 pound fresh white mushrooms, thinly sliced
5 small fresh green or red chilies, sliced crosswise, paper-thin
Fresh cilantro (coriander) leaves

1. Rinse the dried mushrooms and remove their stems.  Place the mushrooms in a small bowl with enough hot water to cover them.  Soak them while you're prepping the other ingredients.  Take the mushrooms out of the water,  reserving the mushroom broth.  Slice mushrooms. 
2. In a large saucepan, combine the stock, mushroom broth, ginger, lemongrasss and lime leaves or lime zest. Place over medium heat and slowly bring to a boil. Boil for 1 minute.
3. Reduce heat to low and bring to a simmer. Add the lime or lemon juice, fish sauce, brown sugar, dried mushrooms and chile paste. Mix well and simmer for 5 minutes. Add the chicken pieces and simmer until tender 4 to 5 minutes, add the fresh mushrooms and simmer until tender, about 1 minute.
4. To serve ladle soup into warmed bowls. Float the chili slices and cilantro leaves on top.

Serves 4 to 6.


I got this recipe somewhere.  I may even have blogged about it before - I don't remember.  I added the bits about the dried mushrooms - I'm addicted to them.  I've also never used kaffir lime leaves.  The markets I usually go to don't have them.  In fact, the best I could do with the lemongrass at our nearest grocery store (in Walpole, NH) was a tube of lemongrass purée.  It worked okay I guess.


The main thing is the combination of the chicken broth, citrus, sugar and spicy/garlicky chili paste.  I'm convinced that this combo is very healing for colds and flus.  I had some soup for lunch and for dinner and I'm feeling a lot better now.  Really.


I think I made it vegetarian once, with tofu and vegetable broth, and it was really good - even healing.  I wasn't sick then though.  Another variation is to add 28 oz. (2 cans) of unsweetened coconut milk at step 3.  That makes a good soup but I think it's too heavy to help with a cold/flu.


Oh man, that reminds me - I read a recipe for home made Nyquil ages ago and I've never tried it out.  I'm not gonna start now either - way too labor intensive for a sick person.

My Summer Vacation - Media Heavy

Big tomato from our garden.

Someone left a tiki bar on the side of the road. 

Not Pretty

So sad that I actually left the apartment looking like this.

I asked Pete to take this photo for the blog.  Now that I see it I'm sad that I looked like this in the apartment.  That is bad.

I had to go paint the gallery floor tonight and I didn't want to risk getting my normal clothes painty.

However, I don't think I was the worst dressed person on the T tonight.  Close, but maybe not the worst.

Do I have to buy cute looking crap clothes that I can wreck or can I just get over it?  We're not discussing the hair and face here.

Bye Bye Whip

The night before last I was out with Liz at The Haven in JP.  I was feeling pretty optimistic, possibly due to the great company, the fine Scottish beer I was drinking and the delicious Scottish food I was eating.  I was telling Liz how "interesting" I'm finding the grieving process.  Ain't I something?

Right after I put up the post below I got an e-mail letting me know that a friend of Pete's and mine has inoperable cancer.  Well that kicked my ass.



Let's just say that the whip's been put away and I won't be looking at it again for a while.

What To Do And Some Things I Did

I am usually a very disorganized thinker.  Most of the time I try to fight it with lists (lots of lists) and Brunhilde, my Franklin planner.  Due to the events of August I've been giving myself permission to kind of let it slide.

Since my return from California I've been to Vermont and back, paid the bills, written some thank you notes and set up my art show (which looks like it will be poorly attended due to hurricane Earl.  Oh well, Robert [my gallery mate] and I will just have to drink all the wine)

Not bad, but next to me sits a pile of other things I need to do.  There are people I need to call, emails I need to respond to, errands I have to run.  I've kind of shelved my new art project.  It's sitting up there, a bright colored, bulky tome on the eye-level shelf in my mind, but I haven't had the space to get to it.

Today all I want to do is stay in bed and read, knit and sleep.  But then that's all I ever want to do.

What I'm wondering is, is it time yet to start cracking the whip at myself again? You may already be aware that I'm prone to sloth.  This is what worries me.  Where does one draw the line between being kind to oneself and milking it?

Here are the socks I knit for my dad this summer.  I'm really glad I finished them in time for him to see them.  They're a little big for me.

I made them with Noro Silk Garden Sock yarn.  Dad lived in Japan for a few years in his twenties.  Japanese culture was an important part of his aesthetic.  Also, he introduced sushi to me and to almost everyone I know.  I thought it would be appropriate to use Japanese yarn.

After I finished Dad's socks I made some for my mom too.  Unfortunately I don't have a photo of them.  I made Mom's socks out of Socrates yarn in Wednesday Night Green.  That yarn is incredibly soft and fuzzy.

Jimmy Crap Corn

Look how crappy my corn is!  And see that lush, green backdrop?  That's a path!

My kind friend Michaela says that this year was too dry for corn (and snakes, more's the pity - I miss them)  I believe her.  I've seen some of my neighbors' corn and it isn't too pretty either.

This was the first time I've ever tried corn.  I think I'll take a break on it next year and grow something else.  The tomatoes are doing well.  It's also another out of control pear year.

Now I can procrastinate no longer.  Today I hang some work for an art show.  I'm daunted so I'm putting off getting started.  That will, of course, make everything worse.  I'll have to figure out a way to make me think this is fun.

School Of Life

I'm back in Vermont now. I thought I'd hit the ground running and pick up where I started.  I forgot that travel is tiring and that there's jet lag.  I also failed to take into consideration that I was under-slept (if anyone knows how to explain time zones to a dog I could use a pointer on that as Fay likes her breakfast at 6AM eastern time, 3 pacific time) and had spent the last month doing pretty difficult and draining work.

In other words, "Oh yeah, I'm tired.  Oh yeah, I'm grieving.  I forgot."  Sort of.

One thing my dad taught me was that you can learn some pretty fascinating things from pretty much any situation you're in.  This month has been EXTREMELY educational.

My dad's death has been the first major loss of my life.  I know - I've been incredibly lucky.  Now I'm finding out what grieving is - and isn't.  For example, it's not just crying or crying all the time.  There's also "numb" and "oblivious," "fatigued" and plain old "sad."

You all probably already know this and don't need to be told.

I have a lot of blogging to catch up on.  Hopefully I'll manage it in the next couple of days.